1 day ago
11
I’m so pleased that paternity leave is getting some air time and there is a campaign to increase it (The Guardian view on paternity leave: campaigners are right to demand more, 5 May). Probably in part because I follow the Pregnant Then Screwed campaigns, my husband and I have discussed this in depth. He is now due to be taking a full six months of shared parental leave from his workplace this year.
With our first baby, he was at home but working self‑employed, so had no benefits. I suffered with postnatal depression, and struggled with breastfeeding and the anxiety of trying to do it all right.
This time, we are so looking forward to having six months off together as a family. My husband will be able to bond with the baby and be the supportive father to our toddler, with no mental pressure to have to be doing something else. It’s going to be so different!
We know we are the outliers – none of our friends have done this or seem inclined to. A big part is the women still want 12 months and worry that they have to go back early if they share the time. The men also maybe haven’t understood all their rights.
I will be taking 12 months, but it is a matter of juggling workplace policies and is not very easy to navigate. I just wanted to share that this is possible. You can have it all. You can take 12 months as the woman, and you can have your partner with you for longer than two weeks. And it could be wonderful for you both.
Leila Froud
Bath
I’m so very sorry to hear that fathers are finding it unattractive to take two weeks of paternity leave when compensated at the statutory £187.18 a week. Do let me remind you that this is the same country which pays a woman a mere £6.38 an hour (six weeks of pay at 90% of her salary, which on average in the UK is roughly £700 a week, plus 33 weeks of maternity pay at that princely £187.18/week), half of the national minimum wage, for giving up her career for 39 weeks to instead work at delivering and nurturing a future taxpayer.
This is not to mention the physical and emotional cost of working “as normal” through the previous 40 weeks of her pregnancy, the soft impact on her career of taking nine months of leave, and the financial cost to the family of putting that child into nursery at eight or nine months old so the mother can return to her £700-a-week job. And this is before we factor in the weeks of unpaid leave or holiday she will take to cover illnesses, and the impact on her career of needing the flexibility to work around inflexible nursery hours.
Perhaps if we paid women properly for their labour, men would find it easier to sacrifice their full earnings for two short weeks in order to become more fully engaged parents.
Alison Smith
London
I read your article on the proposed “dad strike” regarding the pathetic paternity entitlement in the UK while visiting my son, partner and kids in Oslo (British men urged to join ‘Dad strike’ calling for more paternity leave, 1 May). My son is on four months’ paid paternity leave and his partner has recently returned to work after eight months’ paid maternity leave. Yes, let me repeat, four months, paid.
On taking one of my grandchildren to the barnehage (nursery), I am struck by the number of young men having responsibility for their young kids. This is how it should be. It’s really wonderful and it also enables many women to work full time.
The Labour government is clearly unpopular, as confirmed by the local elections, and a second term is unlikely unless a radical change of direction occurs. This should include significant improvements in paternity rights.
Jol Miskin
Sheffield
