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Name: Annabelle.
Age: She first surfaced in 1970, though she’s a Raggedy Ann doll, a type that was first patented in 1915, so she could be as old as 110.
Appearance: Cloth body, red woolly hair, stripy stockings, big eyes, fixed grin. Just a normal rag doll. Nothing to see here.
If there’s nothing to see, why are we talking about her? Because there happened to be a large fire and a jailbreak in New Orleans while “one of the most infamous dolls on the planet” was in town. Reports of Annabelle going missing and causing “local disasters” while on tour in May have been proliferating online. Chicago was bracing itself last week after rumours she was coming for them next.
Hang on, hang on. “Infamous”? “Disasters”? Explain yourself. Annabelle is haunted, probably cursed. Given to a Connecticut nurse in 1970, she soon started moving around, leaving notes and inflicting “psychic slashes” on visitors.
Passive-aggressive, huh? I’ve had roommates like that. Well, the paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren concluded Annabelle was demonically possessed and removed her to their museum. “Allegedly linked to decades of deaths and grisly paranormal activity,” according to NBC, she has subsequently inspired three films in The Conjuring horror franchise (Annabelle, Annabelle: Creation and Annabelle Comes Home).
I like the “allegedly” there, as if she may be litigious. Look at her: she’d absolutely take you to the cleaners.
So this Annabelle doll recently went walkabout and bad stuff happened? According to the New England Society for Psychic Research, who organised her tour (called Devils on the Run), Annabelle did not go missing in New Orleans, and she was never in Chicago at all. “That doll was never out of our sight, never out of our control,” her handler, Tony Spera, confirmed. She remained in her case, which is “usually secured by crosses and holy water”.
It’s fake news, then? Or possibly viral marketing, but social media users aren’t buying it. “Ed and Lorraine told y’all to keep her locked up,” one wrote on the Facebook page for Ghost City Tours, which hosted Annabelle in New Orleans. “Nobody listened. Look at the aftermath.” TikTok users freaked out at the idea she was missing, and questioned why Annabelle was “on tour” at all: “Is she about to drop her first single, I love Satan and killing babies???”
This is just silly, isn’t it? Haunted dolls aren’t real. Ebay users would beg to differ: there’s a buoyant market for them, everything from “positive, beginner-friendly” Gemma to Vicky, “a particularly horrid spirit” who hides the TV remote and “doesn’t like men at all”.
Again, I’ve had roommates like that. There are other celebrity haunted dolls, too: sailor-suited Robert, who lives in Florida and inflicts “post-visit misfortunes” on disrespectful guests; and Okiku, who is possessed by a dead child and has hair that keeps growing. But Annabelle is the most powerful and we should respect her.
Annabelle’s making you say that, isn’t she? Blink twice for yes. Shh, she’ll hear you!
Do say: “Annabelle can’t hurt you.”
Don’t say: “Got myself a cryin’, walkin’, jail-breakin’, murderin’, haunted doll.”
