Football Daily | Wayne Rooney, Tom Brady and a serving of ultra-processed beef

2 hours ago 5

LOOK ROO’S TALKING

Today’s Football Daily would like to start with the topical events of 15 February 1983. That was the day Manchester United outplayed and outviolenced Arsenal in the first leg of their Milk Cup semi-final at Highbury. United won 4-2; they were 4-0 up after 80 minutes before taking their foot off Arsenal’s throat, and shinbone, and head. “Perhaps we’ve been concentrating too much on passing and technique,” lamented Don Howe, Arsenal’s head coach and assistant to the manager, Terry Neill. “Against United we went out to strike the ball about instead of putting some meat into the game.” In 1980s English football, there was no place for veganism. Things have changed since the days when ABH was a bookable offence, and only then after the first 10 minutes, but English football still has a pretty noxious meat footprint.

In 2025, English society, never mind football, is addicted to beef. You know it’s a weekday when a relatively minor difference of opinion between two adults is reported using the kind of language once reserved for a bloodbath involving the Five Families. Today’s beef involves two football legends: Wayne Rooney (association) and Tom Brady (American). In case you missed it – if you did, get out while you still can – Rooney’s work ethic during his time as Birmingham City manager was questioned by Brady, a part-owner of the club. This emerged in a documentary at the end of July, seven months after Rooney was sacked by Birmingham – but this ultra-processed beef ain’t got no sell-by date, baby. “I’m a little worried about our head coach’s work ethic,” said Brady. “I mean, I don’t know, I don’t have great instincts on that.” Rooney waited a couple of weeks to reply publicly, coincidentally via the medium of a new podcast that he’d be plugging desperately, if only there was a story he could sell. Remember the name: The Wayne Rooney Show.

Actually, we shouldn’t throw shade at Our Wazza. We’re all selling something these days, whether it’s a podcast, a Substack or our last dapple of dignity. And we’re all buying what everyone else is selling, a world of dopamine nutters in desperate need of just one more hit. “I think it was a very unfair comment,” said Rooney, before explaining that Brady’s only visit was the day before a game, when everyone’s workload is generally lighter. “I don’t think he really understood football that well at the time.” Rooney went on to call Brady an abject, NKOTB-loving motherf- no, of course he didn’t. He called him “one of, if not the greatest athlete of all time”. His tone was reasonable throughout, even if he undermined his point slightly by saying the NFL season only lasted three months.

Rooney concluded by putting the whole thing in an appropriate context. “Bit disappointed but nothing too serious, so move on.” That quote wasn’t used by the BBC, broadcasters of The Wayne Rooney Show, but they did have sufficient grasp of nuance to put together a graphic for their news story that screamed THE BRADY BEEF. Football Daily isn’t claiming to be any better. We’re eating beef right now, FHS, and we’ve got enough in the fridge to take us through to at least May 2026. But deep down – to nick a line from our progenitor The Fiver – we know it’s time to STOP BEEF. And maybe, if this jejune culture gets much worse, to STOP FOOTBALL.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“In medical terms, the operation succeeded but the patient died, so not that good in the end. But we worked on a gameplan that was a little bit different and very close to succeeding” – Thomas Frank, having failed to cure Tottenham of historic ills, reflects on losing Biggest Cup on penalties to PSG. In doing so, Frank echoed the words of Danish compatriot Ebbe Skovdahl, who said the same after his Aberdeen team lost, er, 7-0 to Celtic in 2002.

With reference to yesterday’s Football Daily (full email edition), in which your contributor was bemoaning the lack of alternative monikers for a goalkeeper, may I be so bold as to proffer a few enhancements to their vocab? For starters, there’s goal minder, glovesman, custodian, netminder, No 1, sticksman, backstop and, of course, shot-stopper. For those seeking a more left-field nickname, try these for size: guardian (no, not that one) of the onion bag, net ninja, glove wizard or, indeed, the good old last line of defence. I should get out more” – Peter MacLeod.

Given the fiasco of foreign footie fandom that Rob Ford described [Wednesday’s letters], maybe it’s time an English club of limited local loyalties takes advantage of La Liga’s newfound love of overseas matches and moves to the Costa Brava, offering competitive football at regularly scheduled times to ex-pats and disaffected locals alike … CB Dons, it’s your time to shine” – Declan Hackett.

Spurs playing very well and yet losing to a PSG team that only had one week of training since the end of last season, only really had Vitinha in midfield until the vastly underrated Fabián Ruiz came on in the 60th minute, and offered up the funniest Keystone Cops-style defending since Spurs’s 4-0 defeat to Bayern last week? Of course the Spurs(y) manager is rightly ‘Very, very proud’” – Noble Francis.

If you have any, please send letters to [email protected]. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Peter MacLeod. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, can be viewed here.

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