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First the bad news: this week the United States Food and Drug Administration recalled 4,515 cases of Yellowstone Brown Sugar Molasses Baked Beans after discovering that it did not disclose the presence of soy, an allergen that can have severe to fatal effects on sensitive consumers, in its ingredients. Shoppers from 23 US states are being urged to return their beans in exchange for a full refund.
But the good news is, you can get Yellowstone baked beans. How amazing is that? If you’re someone who enjoys watching Taylor Sheridan’s soapy western drama about the Dutton family enough to want to literally base all your meal times around it then, provided you don’t have a soy allergy, this is absolutely your lucky day. And the joy doesn’t stop there, because there’s also an entire website dedicated to selling various official Yellowstone food products.
As well as the beans (“Savor the taste of Yellowstone Baked Beans, where tradition meets bold flavor”), the site allows you to buy official Yellowstone coffee (“Start your day the Dutton way”), official Yellowstone BBQ sauce (“Cook with confidence and grit”) official tinned Yellowstone stews (“a wholesome, filling meal that’s both delicious and effortless”), official Yellowstone Mac and Cheese (“a flavor filled adventure”) and various official Yellowstone meat snacks (“the ultimate, on-the-go cowboy treat”).
Now, does any of this sound in any way appealing? No, not at all. Does it seem to be designed exclusively to cater to anyone except swivel-eyed doomsday preppers who enjoy stockpiling nonperishable goods in hastily erected corrugated iron bunkers? No, not at all. But is it generally a good thing that Yellowstone inspires enough fervour in its audience that it can justify manufacturing its own entire line of officially branded meat snacks? Absolutely.
Not every show can afford this luxury. It’s hard to imagine something like Interior Design Masters with Alan Carr catching fire with audiences to the extent that it can launch a range of official tinned vegetables and Cup a Soups, for instance. But Yellowstone is different. Yellowstone speaks to an audience not traditionally catered to by the television industry. Yellowstone fans are quiet, hard-working, politically conservative and – above all else – fond of a tinned stew for their dinner. In that respect, the food line represents a perfect moment of brand synergy.
Most shows simply do not go to this level of effort with their official merchandise. If you like Hacks, for example, you might be able to buy a T-shirt or a mug, but that’s about it. If you loved the (very enjoyable) new Netflix Asterix series, your most exciting merchandise option is a T-shirt with the word Asterix on it. If you’re a fan of Lorraine Kelly, you might be happy to own an official £16 Lorraine flask , but other than that your options are limited.
Some shows do go the extra mile, in fairness, although to a far more niche degree. There are lots of people who like The Last of Us, for example. And there are lots of people who enjoy the taste of mushrooms. But the number of people who will watch a show about an army of violent mushroom-possessed zombies strangling the life out of humanity in the grimmest way possible then immediately reach for a cup of official The Last of Us mushroom coffee must be vanishingly slim.
And, true, Lidl recently released an entire range of edible Emily in Paris merchandise, including crepes, biscuits and macarons. But there’s something almost cowardly about stocking these items in a supermarket, isn’t there? Something that deliberately caters to non-fans. Maybe some of the people who bought official Emily in Paris crepes just did it because they like crepes, not because they’re devotional about television programmes where Phil Collins’s daughter slow-blinks at the Arc de Triomphe a lot.
But to truly qualify as a Yellowstone-style hit, you really need to be selling food directly from an official website that has no clear link to your broadcaster. And in that regard, the only series that can in any way stand up to Yellowstone is ITV’s Doc Martin. Yes, it seemed like a show expressly engineered for your parents to fall asleep to. And yes, it hasn’t been on the air for three years now. And yet, still, on the official Doc Martin merchandise page, you can buy a tube of the sort of food Doc Martin viewers are guaranteed to go bandy over: official Doc Martin biscuits and fudge.
Maybe you want a tube where Martin Clunes is dressed as a doctor on the front, or one where Martin Clunes is reacting quizzically to a dog, or even one where Martin Clunes is pulling the same expression of disgruntled bafflement that Jeremy Clarkson used to pull on the cover of all his books. Whatever you desire, the official Doc Martin merchandise site has got you covered. And since these biscuits won’t inadvertently harm anyone with a soy allergy, this gives them the edge over Yellowstone. Congratulations all.
