You be the judge: my partner painted the walls, but left me to do the edges. Am I right to be angry?

1 day ago 12

The prosecution Helen

I’d broken my wrist – if you offer to decorate for someone who is injured, you should do it all

I’ve always been the designated DIY person in our home. I care about interiors and like things to look nice. Freddie, my boyfriend of six years, is the chef. We like hosting friends, so it works well.

As it’s coming up to summer, I wanted to refresh our home and get our living room and hallway painted before we have friends round for barbecues and dinner parties. However, I recently broke my wrist, so I asked Freddie if he could take up the mantle (or paintbrush). I then went away to see my sister and her new baby for the weekend, leaving him with strict instructions and all the paint.

Imagine my shock when I came back and saw he had done half a job. The walls were mostly painted, but he had skipped the skirting boards and all the edges. He had just rolled over the main bits of wall with a roller. He said he wasn’t able to do the smaller areas as he doesn’t have a “delicate hand”. I said: “Well I’ve only got one hand.”

The bits he did were fine, but the point is it’s not complete. I’m also glad I wasn’t around to watch Freddie pootle along because it would have frustrated me. When we decided to repaint, I was touched when Freddie gallantly announced: “I’ll do it – you just rest.” But when I came back and expressed disappointment, he just handed me the brush and said: “You’re better at the fiddly bits.”

I ended up painting the edges myself with my one working hand. Freddie insists he has done the main part, which is what counts. But he did everything except the bits that take time and patience. It’s a cop-out. If you ask someone to do a job, they can’t do half of it and call it finished. If you offer to paint a wall for someone who’s injured, you should do it all, including the bits that require you to crouch or switch to a smaller brush.

This isn’t really about walls. It’s lucky that Freddie is a good partner, because this is weaponised incompetence. He now says he will be telling our friends that he did the painting, but I’m not having that. I’m the one who took it over the finish line.

The defence Freddie

She knows I’m not a details guy – I don’t want to mess up the part I know she can do perfectly

I am taking credit for painting most of the walls as that’s what I did. And they look good, as Helen said. We’re not talking slapdash bits of paint all over the sockets. I really took my time: I moved the furniture, I put down sheets and I did the main event: two coats, all the way through the living room and in the hallway.

I think Helen is fake-outraged over the fact I left the edges – we both know she is better at that anyway. And I actually did 80% of the job, which is better than nothing. She went away and left me with instructions, and I delivered.

But she knows I’m not a details guy; I’m the roller, not the artist. Edges, fiddly bits, skirting boards are all precision work. That’s where I lose confidence. I don’t want to mess up the part I know she can do perfectly, and it’s not really my forte. I would get in trouble for doing it wrong if I tried. It felt more respectful to do what I could and let Helen finesse the finish. She is the design expert, after all.

When she came back and I handed her a paintbrush for the edges, I could tell by her expression she wasn’t impressed. She said: “What? It’s not done.” I had to talk her into my way of thinking. I know my strengths, and neat edges aren’t one of them.

This isn’t weaponised incompetence, it’s self-awareness. I wasn’t trying to get out of it; I just didn’t want to be shouted at for getting it wrong. Cutting in the edges is a huge job and it requires a steady hand. Helen’s one hand is better than both of mine put together.

As for me claiming the paint job, I will absolutely be telling our friends we painted it together. I was joking when I said I’ll tell everyone I did it all. Helen wants to out me in front of everyone and tell them I did half a job, but really I did the majority.

However, I am in favour of telling everyone it was a team effort. I did the big strokes, Helen brought the magic. It’s like cooking and plating: if I make the curry and Helen adds the coriander, she can’t take credit for the whole thing. It’s a collaboration.

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The jury of Guardian readers

Should Freddie have finished the job himself?

Freddie himself says the detailing is a “huge job” – and then he goes and leaves it all for Helen, who has a broken wrist. Come on, Freddie – there’s lazy, and then there’s out of order.
Tristan, 28

“Weaponised incompetence” is a tad strong Helen! Freddie stepped up in my view. He could have said “no, it’s not my forte”, but he took the plunge and had a go instead. He’s not quite a have-a-go hero but he’s certainly not guilty.
Ewan, 34

I can just picture Freddie, bigging himself up as a “can do” man”, but it’s all a facade. If I were Helen, I’d be so irate I’d be tempted to throw the rest of the paint over him.
Claudia, 49

I can understand Helen’s disappointment at Freddie for not finishing the job after he’d offered to paint the walls. But if he really is that incompetent, she probably should have given him some training before letting him loose. At least he did something.
Victoire, 43

Even if Helen had broken the wrist of her non-writing hand, cutting-in requires ladders and that’s risky single-handed. Plus, how do you carry paint with one hand? Either Helen’s broken wrist had healed, so Freddie disregarded it, or he’s lazy and unfeeling. A bizarre situation: on balance, it’s Freddie’s bad, or very bad.
Ges, 29