You be the judge: should my daughter pay for the vase she broke in our holiday villa?

2 hours ago 3

The prosecution: Marlene

Dani is 24 – if she makes a mess, she needs to clean it up herself. Let this be a learning experience

For our 10-day summer holiday, I booked and paid for an Airbnb villa in Malta. In total it cost €1,100 for our family of four: me, my husband, Derek, and our two kids, Dani, 24, and Jamie, 19. Dani came for four days and the rest of us stayed for the entirety.

We had a nice time, but Dani and Jamie left their part of the villa in a complete mess, and I only found out after we’d left. Dani had her own wing, which I didn’t check, and after we got home I received a message from the host. They sent pictures of her room, with rubbish bags and crumbs all over the counter and a broken vase. She hadn’t told us about the vase; I only found out from the host.

There was a £100 cleaning fee included in the booking, but they said that only covers basics like washing bed linen and cleaning the floors. It doesn’t cover damage, so I was charged an extra £50 for the broken vase.

Dani says I should have disputed it, but I just wanted to get it sorted. I told her that actions have consequences, and asked her to pay the extra fee for the breakage. She did, but now says we should dispute the charge through Airbnb.

Dani said she broke the vase by accident, which I believe of course. But at 24, she’s not a child any more. If you make a mess, you clean up after yourself. Jamie also got a telling off for leaving his room in a mess, but he didn’t break anything.

Dani is a working girl, so asking her to pay isn’t too big a deal. That’s what being an adult means: you contribute fairly, and you take responsibility when you mess up. I shouldn’t have to check on my grown-up children when we go away. We paid for the holiday so they should show us some gratitude. I’m not going to shoulder the cost of their mistakes.

I think this is about more than money – it’s about respect and responsibility. I organised this trip to bring us together as a family, but instead I’ve ended up being embarrassed by the host’s complaint and stuck with an extra bill.

The defence: Dani

We’ve already paid a cleaning fee, why should we face extra charges? Airbnb should refund us

I stayed in Malta for four nights and really enjoyed our family holiday. But I don’t think I should have paid for the broken vase, and now I am trying to get my money back. Mum doesn’t agree.

I didn’t read through the villa policy when I arrived, as I came late, but if I had, I would have taken more care. I left some rubbish in bags in the room and knocked over the vase on the second day. I tried to dispose of it. I didn’t know the villa would be so strict.

Plus, the villa already had a £100 cleaning fee built in, as most Airbnb properties do. That’s what it’s for: rubbish, crumbs, dishes and accidents. No Airbnb is handed back spotless. The idea that I need to pay more on top of that is ridiculous because that’s normal holiday stuff.

I did just pay Mum when she asked, as Dad told me to “keep the peace”. But now I would like it refunded via the platform, whereas Mum thinks we should leave it. I’m stubborn and want to challenge it to prove I’m right. We are at a stalemate.

I am grateful to Mum and Dad for taking me on holiday, but they do seem to get quite anxious about stuff like this. They want to just sweep everything under the rug, whereas I’d dispute the charge until Airbnb pays up.

What really frustrates me is that Mum is turning this into some sort of life lesson. I’m not saying I shouldn’t contribute – I will happily pay for the time I stayed there – but I don’t think I should be charged extra fees, or be lectured for being irresponsible. I left the villa in a normal state, but now have to pay more than we expected – and Mum is lording it over me. It feels as if she is using money to punish me.

At 24, I’m trying to balance rent, bills and work stress. Mum can afford this trip far more easily than I can, and she invited me and my brother. I wasn’t told that there would be a bill. It feels as if I’m being taught a lesson after we’ve come home, and I don’t know what it’s really about.

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The jury of Guardian readers

At 24, Dani is old enough to know better. Just because you’ve paid a cleaning fee, it doesn’t entitle you to leave the place in a tip – that’s disrespectful. She should have owned up to the broken vase when checking out. Hiding it was childish.
Zoe, 33

Dani left the villa in a state, trashed her room, broke someone else’s belongings, and now doesn’t like the consequences. It may have been an accident, but why should Airbnb be expected to refund when we are all responsible for our actions? This all comes down to respecting others.
George, 42

You break something, you pay for it. It being an accident has no bearing on the outcome, and a cleaning fee doesn’t include breakages. Dani should suck it up and admit she’s wrong, and stop embarrassing her mum for the sake of proving her point.
Yoanna, 32

I broke a coffee pot at the cottage we stayed in this summer. I felt awful about it and paid for it to be replaced, as that seemed like the right thing to do. Maybe it is a generational thing, or is Dani more upset by the rebuke than the bill?
Keith 64

What planet is Dani living on? How can she not expect to have to pay for something she has broken? This is someone else’s home, and someone else’s vase. Replacing something carelessly broken is not what the cleaning fee is for at all.
Anna, 70