3 hours ago
14
I’ve heard that in Germany you can buy sausages in vending machines. What should be sold in machines that isn’t offered at the moment? Sybil Freestone, Oregon
Send new questions to [email protected].
Readers reply
Reasonably priced train tickets. EddieChorepost
Come on – be sensible. I’ll take angel wings, magic beans and pots of gold but reasonably priced train tickets? Madness. RobRoy1975
Anyone who has travelled in Japan has encountered the ubiquitous jidōhanbaiki vending machines selling cans of hot and cold drinks. The hot coffee is terrible, but I’ve bought some in desperation on train platforms or in stations when the lines at coffee kiosks were too long. And, of course, having a can of Boss Coffee with the kitschy image of the pipe-smoking man (Tom Selleck lookalike?) in your hand is too tempting to pass up. Nancy Cadet, New York, by email
I was quite impressed to see vending machines with bottles of whisky in them in Japan. I suspect they wouldn’t have lasted very long in this part of the world. Brutha
Have you seen the anime about the guys reincarnated in a vending machine that sells anything? No, it’s not a joke. I wish. Balcke
Mortgages for affordable houses? Girlyouknowitstrue
Books, preferably good secondhand ones. There’s no need for any more instant food gratification – unless the machines are in the middle of nowhere, like the ones supplying baguettes, and occasionally half bottles of champagne, which you sometimes encounter in rural France. Jane Reed, by email
There’s a wine bar in my town that has a wine vending machine. It’s lovely. Uphillstruggleuk
[You] see them all over Spain. JohnH1973
The first wine vending machine was made by Hero of Alexandria, in first-century Roman Egypt. Tarlachmoorhouse
A new boyfriend! A divorce. Spinny
An EU passport. Windyday
When I was a child, the ladies’ loos in our poshest local department store, Schofields in Leeds, had a vending machine that dispensed a squirt of perfume if you put in sixpence (I think) and pressed a button. There was a choice of four or five. I can’t remember them all but my mother liked Yardley’s flower fragrances such as Freesia, while my grandmother favoured Lenthéric’s Tweed. I’ve never seen this anywhere else. MistyP
I think there should be cat vending machines. There is a glut of unwanted cats. Maybe another vending machine with plumbers … David Neville, by email
I would like small packets with a single nappy, two wet wipes, one soapy hand wipe and a nappy disposal bag – biodegradable if possible. To be deployed in baby changes in museums, rail stations, airports and all good coffee shops everywhere. Parenting is hard. 2opinionated
Cigarette vending machines were everywhere when I was a lad. Most notably on the platforms of the London Underground. BristolBoy
That brings back memories. Also, those machines on the platform that sold odd-sized chocolate bars – they were more square than the rectangular shop-bought ones. reggiepurrin
Seen plenty selling cheese and wine in France and Germany – even seafood. On a recent trip, we found one on Germany’s Baltic coast selling eggs and vodka – ideal for breakfast! David Bridle, Brightlingsea, Essex, by email
More than 40 years ago, in Strasbourg I think, we bought merguez in lengths of baguette from a machine. It was about the only thing available on a Sunday afternoon. More recently, we bought baguettes in a small village on the boulanger’s day off. I have also bought chips in Amsterdam – not bad. Janet Carne, by email
Vat-grown babies. To save the effort of conceiving, bearing and delivering them. Failing that, kittens. haztom
Raising them too – option B3 for a 10-year-old, D7 for a 20-year-old. RobRoy1975
Fruit salad, freshly made on demand. And if they can do that, a poached egg on toast while they are at it. daleaway
A long time ago I had a holiday job in the kitchen of a factory, and we did prepare poached eggs for the vending machine the men used after we’d gone home. No toast, however. EastWestCatsAreBest
One of the places where I used to work had a snack vending machine that was topped up every month. If there were any out-of-date or close-to-date items they were given away to us for nothing – and there were usually loads of chocolate bars and crisps to be had that day, so people would stock up. Then it wouldn’t be used for a while and the cycle would repeat itself until the company decided it wasn’t viable and took it away. It was my favourite vending machine. Starling7
[The supply of] Narcan, drug testing strips and safe usage supplies in vending machines was covered in the Guardian here. Kalluna34
Psychology and self-help books. They are in high demand at our library, but are also notoriously not checked out properly or not brought back. Nerdvanian
Help-yourself books, then? jno50
Vending machines in toilets could sell incontinence pads. ArthurDales
World peace. And cash. You could have a machine that works as an automated teller. SavoryCharacter
Aren’t cash machines a kind of vending machine? Starling7
Some are. They sell you the right to access your own money for a hefty fee. Looking at you, Paddington station. EastWestCatsAreBest
I think a pizza could be selected, dropped through a slot into an oven and cooked before being posted out to the consumer. misrule
I’ve just come back from France where there are lots of these machines. You can choose hot or cold (to heat at home). Not the best pizza but a welcome meal when there are no other eating options nearby. C0lumb1dae
A DIY “rejuvenation tank kit” that cancels out all ravages of time, illness and climate crisis stress. And not at a cost that only billionaires can afford! Galliant
Up a mountain in Valais in Switzerland a few years ago, there was a little deli full of fresh wonders – plus a vending machine outside that served up all the ingredients for raclette: bag of spuds, raclette cheese, wine, etc. It was so delightful that I just stared and smiled. My Swiss friend thought I was cracked. maryy
But how were you supposed to cook it, unless you’d lugged your portable raclette grill up the mountain on the off-chance? haztom
My local pool has a vending machine for swimsuits. And you can get extremely good cheese from a vending machine at Besançon station [in eastern France]. EastWestCatsAreBest
Cancoillotte? Tombo
No, just comté and morbier, but very good quality. EastWestCatsAreBest
I’ve seen cheese and sausage vending machines throughout Switzerland, in or near hiking trails. Local goods, emphasis on the word “good”. EgoOne
Pacers, Marathons, and those green ET: the Extra-Terrestrial custard creams I used to get from Bromley’s Walnuts Centre vending machine after swimming. joshthedog
The perfect vending machine would be a “Santa Claus machine”, potentially a form of “molecular assembler”. Essentially, it’s a sci-fi type idea where a machine, given raw materials at molecular level and instructions, can produce any physical object you could imagine. The closest to something like this existing is probably a ribosome: the small components of every biological cell that use mRNA strands as the instructions. They assemble any proteins the cell needs from amino acids. If that’s not mind-blowing enough, the molecular-assembler-type vending machines would, in turn, be able to assemble molecular-assembler-type vending machines. leadballoon
More gluten-free snack options. StellaAS
Plasters. We have vending with condoms, lube, etc (mostly in bus stations – don’t ask me why), so there is space to spare to include plasters for little cuts, blisters, etc. Balcke
We’ve now got little shops here in south-west France that are like vending machines, but you go inside them. It’s like a tiny corner shop. You sign up, then scan your phone at the door, which lets you in. You do your shopping, swipe the items and pay by card, then scan again to open the door and exit. Goldgreen
Same in rural Austria and Germany. Hoofitoff
Anything sold in a refill shop could be adapted for sale by vending machine, as long as you bring your own container. Last year, in Bath, I saw a vending machine for milk. Excellent initiative. IreneLavington
A talent for music or art – or preferably both. If that’s not possible, then peace of mind. If none of the above are possible, then Smith’s Bovril crisps. AD2023
Instructions on how to put your disappointing purchase back into the machine. IcommentthereforeIam
As someone on chemotherapy who is prone to accidents, new underwear would be nice. Ilikeicecream
That would also be useful to all those who menstruate. Dark knickers, cotton, plain, in sizes XS to 2XL, please. redstar1000
A genuinely great suggestion. With a little baggy for the other pair. Ladyzakis
Hardback academic textbooks that hit the bottom of the cabinet with an alarming thunk. Why? Well, in a world in which it’s possible to buy sausages (Germany), fresh eggs (Japan) and sex toys (Spain) from a vending machine, I see no reason to not cater to every possible niche. Oh, and prime ministers. Or are we pretty much there already? Dorkalicious
Awww! Give Andy a break. Adnilsetab
Mini pieces of art and secondhand books. Posh snacks. Pawscrosssed53
Second hand books are free at “book-stops”, and bus or train stations, and “phone box libraries” all over the place. confused23
I’m not saying that sausage vending machines don’t exist, but I’ve never seen one. PhineasPPhagbrake
There’s one in Bangor. VanillaRadio
And in Lincolnshire. Girlyouknowitstrue
I like the idea of a vending machine that allows you to donate to a charity. There would be a broad selection; everything from mental health to foreign aid. You could pay a tenner and, in return, the charity gets a sizeable proportion of the cash and you get a booklet explaining what they do and how the charity uses the donated funds.
You could read the booklet on your commute and recycle it when you arrive. No strings, quick and meaningful, and with the choices in front of you everyone gets a fair shout, although the charities at eye level may do better. It’s a spontaneous purchase that could make you feel you were making a real difference. deepbluepete66
Kindness, hugs and love to our planet. Ooooh, and seeds for bees. Pawscrosssed53
Parking tickets. There are far too many car parks now in which you can’t park if you don’t own a smartphone. SpoilheapSurfer
Genius idea! You could get a ticket as you enter, and before you leave, return it to the machine to let you pay the charge. It would then give it back and you return it again to get through the exit! So simple. confused23
A family member has set up an egg vending machine. There’s no pun coming up, I promise. It operates brilliantly. VanillaRadio
Eggxcellent idea. Dorkalicious
I’ve often thought, while waiting for ages to be served in a crowded and understaffed pub, that machines selling the usual alcoholic drinks might be useful. PeteTheBeat
I used to frequent a bar in Austria that had a draught beer-dispensing machine – you tapped your credit card and it dispensed a half litre of beer. The ultimate beer on tap. Hoofitoff
I grew up in northern Europe, where every bakery had a vending machine outside, into which went a selection of the unsold bread and pastries at the end of each day. Hoofitoff
They would be useful, as everything seems to be closed in rural Germany and Austria on a Sunday – especially in the mornings, when it’s hard to even find a cafe open. PeteTheBeat
At an airport I was recently at, they had a vending machine full of different versions of Top Trumps. Lhurgoyf
I’ve always fancied running a vending machine business, so … vending machines? saltybacon
That’s quite fractal! greendreamer
