8 hours ago
3
‘There is no good way to say this.” This is the phrase used by police when visiting the Chinese-American author Yiyun Li – twice. On the first occasion, officers advise her and her husband to sit down before telling them their son, Vincent, has died by suicide. The couple hear the same line several years later when James, their other son, dies – also by suicide. “My husband and I had two children and lost them both,” Li states.
In this memoir, Li describes how Vincent, 16, enjoyed baking, while 19-year-old James was a brilliant linguist and a deep thinker. Shortly before Vincent’s death, Li had written a memoir about her depressive episodes which led to her own suicide attempts. She wonders if this contributed to both her sons’ sense that suicide could be a viable way out of difficulty.
All of this is contemplated in a blunt and stoic manner free of anger and regret. Li reveals how she and her husband have adopted a “radical acceptance”, which means living with the facts of their lives as they are now, however difficult.
The voice actor Suzanne Toren delivers a careful and sensitive reading, embodying the author’s calmly analytical mind, which is testament to the human ability to endure. “In the abyss that I call my life, facts, with their logic, meaning and weight, are what I hold on to,” she notes. “It’s not much, this holding on, and yet it’s the best I can do.”
Available via 4th Estate, 4hr 57min
Further listening
Long Island Compromise
Taffy Brodesser-Akner, Wildfire, 15hr 23min
After the death of his mother, wealthy businessman Carl relives memories of the time he was snatched by kidnappers, held to ransom and later released. Edoardo Ballerini reads this family saga from the Fleishman Is in Trouble author.
Rumours of My Demise
Evan Dando, Faber, 8hr 15min
The leading light of the 90s alt-rock band the Lemonheads reads his wry and heady memoir about his adventures as musician and addict. The title is a nod to the stories that frequently circulated in his heyday about his premature death.
In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans can be contacted on freephone 116 123, or email [email protected] or [email protected]. In the US, you can call or text the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 988, chat on 988lifeline.org, or text HOME to 741741 to connect with a crisis counselor. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is 13 11 14. Other international helplines can be found at befrienders.org
