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With The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on hiatus until at least 27 March, late-night hosts on Thursday discussed Donald Trump’s snafu while meeting Japan’s prime minister, his caginess over Iran, and new findings in the Epstein investigations.
Jimmy Kimmel
On Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the host discussed Trump’s visit to Japan and meeting with Sanae Takaichi. As a welcome gift, the prime minister presented the US president with 250 cherry trees to commemorate the upcoming 250th US anniversary.
“This is a guy who paved over the Rose Garden,” commented Kimmel. “What is he going to do with 250 cherry trees? He’ll probably use them to build a Waffle House or something.”
Trump’s main agenda for the Takaichi meeting was to convince Japan to support his ongoing war in Iran. When asked in a press conference why he did not tell US allies of the attacks in advance, he said: “We wanted surprise. Who knows better about surprise than Japan? Why didn’t you tell me about Pearl Harbor?”
“I guess we should be grateful he didn’t do an accent,” joked Kimmel. “What is going through that orange head of his there? There’s no doubt in my mind that everything he knows about Pearl Harbor begins and ends with the movie starring Ben Affleck.”
Kimmel then moved on to developments in the Epstein files investigations. Despite Trump’s claims that Epstein was kicked out of Mar-a-Lago, a newly unredacted 2009 email between Trump and Epstein’s attorneys shows Trump saying that Epstein was “not a member. May have been a guest. Never asked to leave.”
“This document from 17 years ago would indicate that the president of the United States isn’t telling the truth,” said Kimmel, pretending to be shocked.
Meanwhile the partial US government shutdown has resulted in long airport lines across the country, with 50,000 TSA agents working without pay.
“Some of them from the TSA are reported to be selling blood to pay their bills,” said Kimmel, “which is even harder for TSA agents because they’re not allowed to put their blood in containers larger than 3oz.”
Seth Meyers
Seth Meyers also poked fun at Trump’s comments about Pearl Harbor to Takaichi, the prime minister.
“‘Why didn’t you tell me about Pearl Harbor?’” the host asked, quoting Trump. “Uh, I guess because neither of you had been born yet?”
“What are you talking about?” continued Meyers. “Do you mean the movie Pearl Harbor? Because Japan didn’t do that. We did that to ourselves.”
In the press conference, Trump praised Takaichi’s English speaking, adding that he hadn’t picked up Japanese yet. “Oh, nobody thought you had picked up Japanese,” deadpanned Meyers. “You already have your hands full with English.”
When asked yesterday if he would send more troops to Iran, Trump said: “If I were, I certainly wouldn’t tell you.”
To Meyers’ mind, that spoke volumes. The host called the comments “extra rude, considering who asked”, before flashing up a picture of JD Vance.
On Thursday, Markwayne Mullin’s nomination for homeland security secretary was advanced by a key Senate committee. The former Oklahoma senator said that when he was first elected to Congress, he did not know how to tie a necktie.
“Yeah, I think we made it clear that’s not disqualifying,” said Meyers. “The dress code is slowly turning into custody-hearing casual.”
Yesterday also saw Trump meet with Micheál Martin, Ireland’s prime minister, as part of the annual Shamrock Bowl presentation. The president told the press that he “feels like” he has Irish blood, adding: “I’m not too far, I have Scottish blood. Is that good or bad?”
“And long story short, we’re in another war,” joked Meyers.
The host then turned to lighter subjects with the news that the most popular US puppy name is Luna. “The least popular name is still Ghislaine,” Meyers quipped.
“If Ghislaine walked out and got lost, you wouldn’t walk out and yell that name,” he said. “That dog’s gone.”
