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Late-night hosts mocked Donald Trump’s mail-in voting as he tries to end mail-in voting, ICE agents in US airports and a mysterious “gift” from Iran.
Jimmy Kimmel
On Tuesday’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the host checked in on Donald Trump’s efforts to pass the so-called Save America act. The sweeping restrictive voting bill would require proof of US citizenship for new voters and end mail-in voting, or what Trump called “mail-in cheating”.
“That’s right, he prefers in-person cheating,” Kimmel quipped.
“He keeps saying that it was brought to his attention today that we’re the only country that does mail-in voting – when is someone going to step in and tell him that’s not true?” he continued. “Thirty-four countries have mail-in voting. All the countries that have mail have mail-in voting.”
Trump made those comments on Monday. On Tuesday, he voted by mail in Florida, for a special local election (a Democrat, Emily Gregory, flipped the state seat for the district that contains Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate).
“He’s unbelievable,” said Kimmel. “Donald Trump claiming he wants to protect election integrity is like Bill Cosby telling you he’ll watch your drink for you.”
In other news, Trump claimed that “progress” was made with Iran thanks to a mysterious gift. As Trump explained at a press briefing: “They did something yesterday that was amazing, they gave us a present, and a present arrived today. It was a very big present, worth a lot of money … a very significant prize.”
“What kind of present did they send?” Kimmel wondered. “Did they give him a Vitamix? Is he sure it’s safe to open this present when he gets it? Who would have ever guessed he could be easily manipulated by expensive gifts? Maybe they gave him a medal that says like ‘world’s greatest enemy’, or something.”
The Daily Show
On The Daily Show, Josh Johnson looked at the deployment of federal agents in US airports plagued by long lines, thanks to the partial government shutdown. “The good news is that Trump sent people to help TSA. The bad news is those people are ICE,” Johnson explained before clips of the agents milling about, hanging around and talking among themselves at several airports.
“You’re telling me ICE agents are showing up to the airport and doing absolutely nothing? Well then it’s my honor to present the award for Most Improved Agency,” he added.
To ICE, he said: “You’re not doing anything, and honestly thank God! Keep doing what you’re not doing.
“Maybe this is the best possible scenario for ICE,” Johnson continued. “Sending them to the airport could be like an after-school program for them, you know? I know they’re just standing around, but it’s keeping them off the streets.
“Look, it was always obvious that sending ICE to airports wasn’t going to help,” he concluded. “The problem was that TSA agents weren’t getting paid. So they’re quitting and calling out sick. Having other random federal agencies still not be TSA isn’t going to fix that.
“Stop sending other agencies! You’re not going to make the security line shorter. You’re just going to make the Starbucks line longer.”
Seth Meyers
And on Late Night, Seth Meyers recapped Trump’s visit to Elvis Presley’s Graceland mansion in Memphis, Tennessee, where he signed a guitar with a Sharpie. “I’m sorry, you can’t sign someone else’s guitar,” Meyers said. “How would you like it if I signed your … subpoenas?”
During his visit, Trump asked an employee if he could have taken Elvis in a fight. “I gotta hand it to Trump, it’s pretty hard to come up with an Elvis question that a Graceland employee has never heard,” Meyers quipped.
At a roundtable event while he was in Memphis, Trump praised the FBI director, Kash Patel, and said: “Once you get to know him, he’s a wonderful guy.”
“Man, he is the master of the backhanded compliment,” said Meyers before imitating Trump: “Kash Patel, when you first meet him, he’s the worst, just awful, but then you get used to him, you know like when you break your arm and have to wear a cast.”
And in a new interview, Trump claimed that his new White House ballroom would be protected from the outside and that if a drone hits it, it “just explodes and just blows away”.
“Well … sounds like they’ve been showing him cartoons,” Meyers said.
