You be the judge: should my eco-conscious husband park his dislike of flying?

3 hours ago 6

The prosecution: Jenny

I worry about my carbon footprint, but you can’t go everywhere by train and I want to see the world

My husband, Teddy, and I are very environmentally conscious and try to minimise our carbon footprints. We heat the house with a heat pump, we’re vegetarian and we hardly use the car.

We live on the border of France and Switzerland, and rarely fly because it has an enormous carbon footprint. One long-haul flight can generate more CO₂ than the average citizen of some countries does in a year. We haven’t flown long distances in 12 years. We once even took the train from here to see family in Scotland, and the journey was horrendous. After that experience, I do fly to see them once a year.

Teddy’s fine with me flying to see my family, but I’d also like to have a winter holiday with him. We’re retired, and he just sits on his computer all day doing mathematical models like he did in his job. I’m 73 and he’s 69; it’s time to do things.

I’d really love to go to Madeira. It’s cold, grey and miserable here now, and Madeira would be a great escape. It isn’t as far as the Caribbean or Australia, so we’d save some emissions too. I’ve considered where we could get to by train, but anywhere warm and sunny is too far. I did think about Italy, and we’ve taken the train there before, but the journey was too long. There were also horrendous storms in Italy once so I get worried about extreme weather.

I get upset when people don’t seem to care about their carbon footprints or what’s happening to the planet. I’m reluctant to go to our local social club, because I invariably hear about people’s exotic holidays. I want to hear about their adventures, but it also makes me seethe because I’ve decided I shouldn’t fly and neither should they.

When I hear their stories, I feel as if Teddy and I are punishing ourselves for no good reason. Our abstinence doesn’t make the tiniest dent in global carbon emissions – what’s the point?

When I try to influence others, I get accused of guilt-tripping, so I feel like giving up on my principles. Teddy says I should stick to my guns, but I think he just doesn’t want to travel. Can I be reckless and guilt-free?

The defence: Teddy

It’s not an environmental issue. I’ve just had my fill of flying and don’t really enjoy being a tourist

When Jenny and I discussed holidaying in Madeira, we never really talked about the impact on our carbon footprint. She always thinks about that more than me.

If she wants to change her moral compass and take this flight, it’s her decision. She’s anti-flying because she has an apocalyptic vision of the world and thinks we’re all going to frazzle or drown in huge storms.

Climate change is important, but it’s not the only thing. For the rest of my life – I’ve probably got 20 years at most – things will get worse, but not by that much. Jenny says: “Can we fly, and still think about our grandkids?” But they can think about themselves.

I am against the holiday because I’ve travelled by air a lot. I used to work in public health. We lived in Papua New Guinea for four years. Then I worked around east Africa and had to fly to the US regularly. Eventually I was sick of long-haul travel, irrespective of its carbon footprint. If I had the option, I would prefer to travel by train. It took about 18 hours for us to get to Sicily once, as everything was delayed, but if you don’t have any urgent plans it doesn’t matter.

Besides, I’ve never really been into holidays. Before I met Jenny in the 80s, I never really went on holiday at all. I used to do volunteer projects abroad rather than tourism. I don’t like being a tourist. Economically it’s not great, and I don’t feel I benefit from it much. I’m also diabetic and trying to control my diet. I don’t sleep well in hotels. I don’t like being somewhere where I’m not fluent in the language. Plus, Madeira is steep and volcanic, and Jenny doesn’t like to hike much. And there are risks – extreme weather and medical emergencies. We had friends who got sick in Madeira and had to wait to get home to receive proper care.

I don’t have a hard line against flying. I just don’t particularly want to travel. If I got on a plane, I’d feel annoyed because I’d been overruled. I just don’t get the point of tourism – if I’m not going to enjoy the destination, why bother getting on the plane?

The jury of Guardian readers

Teddy doesn’t want the Madeira holiday for lots of reasons that are important to him. A holiday should be a pleasure for both people. Jenny isn’t picking up on Teddy’s concerns about his health that may be influencing his feelings about travel.
Eleanore, 66

Jenny seems happy enough in her marriage and should not put this in jeopardy by making her husband travel with her against his will. She has strong views about how immoral it is to increase her carbon footprint. I suggest a compromise where they go away for a glamorous weekend in a hotel not too far from them. Summer will come round soon with lots of sun.
Belinda, 68

Teddy sounds like a bore complaining about flights and tourism and money. He needs to inject more positivity into his time with his wife. Madeira sounds great. They don’t have infinite years left, so should have fun while they can.
Lydia, 32

Couples have to compromise for each other, and it sounds as if Teddy would get nothing from the trip. I feel Jenny has to accept that she should go with a friend instead.
Julius, 67

Teddy sounds like poor holiday company. Jenny, just go on your own: you’ll have a much better time. That way you can feel less guilty about the environment too, because there’s only one of you travelling. Helen, 33